A Guide to Reading J.R. Johansson

Illustrated Guide to Reading Jenn Johansson's Very Awesomely Scary Book

1.  Before starting Jenn Johansson's psychological thriller, INSOMNIA, give your concerned-look facial muscles a good work out.  They're going to need it.

2. Grow your nails out really long so you're not forced to gnaw off your finger tips when things get really scary. 

3. Figure out how to read while covering your eyes.  And when you do, share the secret with me because I'm the type who always covers my eyes during the scary scenes of a movie or I'm a mess by the end.

4.  Hide if necessary.  

5. Learn German!!!!!!! Because she's going to be a German superstar.  Here's the proof:

Publisher's Weekly Announcement

"Germany rights to INSOMNIA by J.R. Johansson, a debut YA supernatural/psychological thriller, about a teen boy who thought spending every night trapped in other people's dreams was bad, but discovers that losing control of his own body and mind is so much worse, sold to Heyne Flieght in a TWO-BOOK deal at auction by Agence Hoffman, on behalf of Taryn Fagerness Agency and Kathleen Rushall of Marsal Lyon Literary Agency."

Also, some really cool German's stopped by to congratulate her.

"Brialliance = Jenn x A2 Book Deal"

"Insomnia is a Symphony of psychological thrills."

"I may not be German, but they love me there.  No, really, I'm a German mega-super-popstar.  And I can tell you they love Jenn in the Deutschland."   

Guess what David, I love her too!! And I couldn't be happier for my dear friend.   Ich liäbä Dich, Jenn!!


  1. Oh my gosh, Candi. You are so stinkin' adorable. I may have to print this "reading guide" at the front of my book. ;-) Very useful! Thank you SO much for this! Yay! Germany! :-) Love you!

  2. This is genius. :) So genius in fact, that I actually am sending my blog readers to your blog because I pathetically haven't posted for Jenn yet, and this was so funny I figured, "Why try?"

    So . . . thanks! :)

    P.S. I love the picture of you hiding behind the chair, lol. :)

  3. This is hilarious! I'm so happy for Jenn! (Now if only I spoke German...)

  4. I want David Hasselhoff to give me a message. Hmm, maybe I need to write a book about lifeguards on the beach. :)

    So happy for Jenn! Her book definitely elicits a wide range of emotions. Love it.

  5. This post was excellent! I happen to speak German and even lived there. Yes, it is true. David Hasselhoff is a Rock God to them. (I will never understand how a country that produces some of the most beautiful cars in the world can be so wrong when it comes to music. Oh, they love techno as well.)

    I've said it before, but I'll say it again...Herzlichen Glückwunsch, Jenn!!

  6. LOL! You are hilarious! Love the picture of your fingers almost covering your eyes. I thought I was the only one who did that. You almost cover the eyes, but still see through the slits of your fingers.

    Me and you should boycott scary movies. Seriously. ;)

  7. Love the pictures! What an awesome review. And congrats to Jenn about the foreign rights. Very cool.

  8. You made me chuckle. This post is a success :)

  9. Thanks for the laugh. :)

    I gave you an award on my blog today.

  10. ha ha ha! I just laughed out loud so hard that my cat stood, scowled in that cat way, and took off. I love this and I love me some Hasslehoff!

  11. I left the funniest comment about my cat leaving me because of my ridiculously loud bark laugh to this post. And now my comment is gone. And so here is my second comment that is much less exciting. Sigh.

  12. This is so perfect. Made me laugh so hard!