The Zombie Apacalypse *contains spoilers*

Apparently everyone is feeling a little extra protective of their brains these days.  There is so much talk of the impending zombie apocalypse that I thought maybe I should prepare myself. 

This is what I came up with (thank you random person for modeling my zombie defense gear).

I posed this idea to some of my brilliant friends (read: appetizer,bait,deterrent).  They suggested my preparation may be a bit short sighted (read: idiotic, naive).  Here's what they came up with instead...

Jenn has already thought this through and a has a zombie-defense closet in her panic room. She says if I want to model her plan, I'll  need a bank vault, a garden hose, steak knife, underwater river, and garlic. It all seems so clear when you lay it out like that.

Renee has outlined a schedule for the event (the main item being the end where we all form a human ring around her).  She even proposes we have a party to celebrate our imminent deaths. I admire her devil-may-care style of dealing with the end of the world.  Well played, Ren. Well played.  
     Side note:  Before agreeing to Ren's plan Jenn feels it is important to know if it will be preceded by an impromptu dance party. That's why I love Jenn; she always knows the right questions to ask.

Chantele is all for the party and even suggested we dress like zombies.  Camouflage...it's an oldy, but goody.  You can't disregard the tried and true war tactics when the end of the world in marching slowly toward you with it's hand outstretched.  If this doesn't work, she will throw in the towel and just go with the flow.  The old "if you can't beat em, join em" tactic.  I like Chantele's retro style.

Kasie is low on ideas right now (this may or may not have to do with the fact that her brain is completely wrapped up by the impending doom of her two book deal with Harper Collins which will never come to pass if the world ends).  This probably explains her assertion that "we are all going to die."  


In the end Jenn summed up the situation well when she tweeted: <--ruthless leader of the revolution <--first victim <--have popcorn

She then invited us all to her panic room.  She then uninvited us all to her panic room (true friend).  Which led me to the final conclusion of the zombie apocalypse: <-- last human alive.





9 comments:

  1. LOL I love it when twitter inspires an awesome blog post! Funny stuff. This is why I'm not to worried. You guys all have bigger brains than I do, so I will definitely be the last one standing. Also, I have been training by playing Plants v. Zombies, so I know exactly what to do when the zombies come after me: Plant a shooting mushroom followed by a plant that springs into a bomb. We'll be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Genius. Pure genius. I'm sort of glad I'm not the last human on earth though. Have fun with that, Jenn! lol :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. lol, we would make an interesting group in the event of apocalypse. I love how we each fell into different archetypal roles.

    In fact, now that I think about it this would make an awesome movie. A poignant and hilarious character study set in the zombie apocalypse. WIN.

    Someone needs to start shopping this idea around. Pronto.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Forget the national guard. I'm protected by my circle of critique partners!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Haha... alright fine. You're all welcome in my panic room... IF you bring snacks. ;-)

    Love this post, Candi. We're hilarious. :p

    ReplyDelete
  6. You girls are way better prepared than me! I really haven't put a lot of thought into it, but as a zombie apocolypse is a very distinct possibility...

    I think it would be a great idea to come to an understanding with the undead. Maybe they will just moan back and try to sink their teeth into our flesh, but I'm sure we could live peacefully together once we overcame our differences. Or if that doesn't work out we can have that party.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Since today is the first I've heard of this (for reals, people) I'm thinking my chances of survival are pretty slim. Unless of course I'm one of the chosen who go straight to heaven. And I never have that kind of luck.

    ReplyDelete
  8. the strainer on his head is the kicker, that will protect him 100%

    ReplyDelete