We've been sick around my house this week. Consequently, I've been doing a lot of something I rarely ever do: watch TV. For some reason, despite the queasiness, I've been drawn to Food Network. They have several reality shows that pit chefs against each other in timed contests. My favorite is "Chopped." You may have seen it. Chefs are given a mystery basket with three or four items that they have to use to create an appetizer, main, dish, and dessert. They're given a new basket each round and only thirty minutes to finish each course.
It's intense. Or maybe I'm the only having an anxiety attack watching Food Network.
The show got me thinking, why are there no reality writing shows? There totally could be. Picture it:
Round 1: Four computers, a panel of agents and editors and an envelope containing a setting, a character and a genre. Thirty minutes on the clock and ready, set, TYPE! The person with the best flash fiction wins the round.
Round 2: The writers have thirty minutes to write a synopsis and query based on their flash fiction.
Round 3: Thirty minutes to prepare a verbal pitch and marketing plan which they must then present.
I'm tired just thinking about that show. Maybe instead we should just throw a bunch of writers in a big mansion with their finished manuscripts and one agent. Then we could send them on dates together. Some of the contestants would naturally click with the Agent who would then ask about their manuscript. Other contestants would carry their MS around with them wherever they went, shoving it under the agent's nose when he was talking to other contestants or relaxing in the hot tub.
At the end of each episode we could line all the contestants up and the agent would give bookmarks to anyone he wants to stay in the mansion for another episode. There would be crying and hissy fits and ripping of paper. It would be a runaway hit! (Are you paying attention Mark Burnett?)
Yep, that's TV I would watch.