Writer Reality



We've been sick around my house this week.  Consequently, I've been doing a lot of something I rarely ever do: watch TV.  For some reason, despite the queasiness, I've been drawn to Food Network.  They have several reality shows that pit chefs against each other in timed contests.  My favorite is "Chopped."  You may have seen it.  Chefs are given a mystery basket with three or four items that they have to use to create an appetizer, main, dish, and dessert.  They're given a new basket each round and only thirty minutes to finish each course.

It's intense.  Or maybe I'm the only having an anxiety attack watching Food Network. 

The show got me thinking, why are there no reality writing shows?  There totally could be.  Picture it:

Round 1:  Four computers, a panel of agents and editors and an envelope containing a setting, a character and a genre. Thirty minutes on the clock and ready, set, TYPE! The person with the best flash fiction wins the round. 

Round 2:  The writers have thirty minutes to write a synopsis and query based on their flash fiction.

Round 3:  Thirty minutes to prepare a verbal pitch and marketing plan which they must then present.

I'm tired just thinking about that show.  Maybe instead we should just throw a bunch of writers in a big mansion with their finished manuscripts and one agent.  Then we could send them on dates together.   Some of the contestants would naturally click with the Agent who would then ask about their manuscript.  Other contestants would carry their MS around with them wherever they went, shoving it under the agent's nose when he was talking to other contestants or relaxing in the hot tub. 

At the end of each episode we could line all the contestants up and the agent would give bookmarks to anyone he wants to stay in the mansion for another episode.  There would be crying and hissy fits and ripping of paper. It would be a runaway hit! (Are you paying attention Mark Burnett?) 

Yep, that's TV I would watch.

12 comments:

  1. That would be SO awesome. We could even call it "Who wants to be a published author?" or "American Writer" where the contestants have to pitch their book in one sentence and the judges could send them to New York for the next round on query letters or send them home.
    "The Agent" is my personal favorite. I love the bookmark idea! LOL

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  2. Chantele,
    Those are great names! And I love the NY idea. Now we just have to pitch it to a network. Hmmm... I wonder if they accept queries?

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  3. HA. As a longtime fan of The Bachelor (don't judge,) I'm particularly fond of The Agent idea. That is TV I would WATCH.

    And you know what's funny? I bet the writers would be even BIGGER divas than the girls on The Bachelor. Because you know, writers actually have personalities.

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  4. Renee,
    So true. And they don't all have the same personality (read: boobjob).

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  5. Love Chantele's names. My husband used to work at a place that sponsored a short story writing contest, but you had to come in on Friday around noon and you had until midnight to write it. By the time I figured out a story, they stopped running the contest.

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  6. LOL Going on dates with the agent. LOL I love it. That's funny. I would never bring my ms in the hot tub, though. It might get wet. And I wouldn't even think about letting my laptop near the water. Actually, now that I think about it, my laptop and I would probably spend more time together. :)

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  7. You're so funny! :-)I would watch any of those shows ... while I sat at home critiquing them up one side and down the other.

    I could never be a participant though. I'd stammer and shake and dissolve into a puddle of nouns and verbs.

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  8. As the sister and friend of writers, I have been completely entertained just reading your blogs and comments! I think "The Agent" would be a hit, unless they put you all together... Then it might play out more like a big slumber party with everyone reading each others MS' and telling each other how much they LOVE it!:) That would be like a hockey game without a fight.

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  9. Hehe... I love this idea. Also, I wanted to say tell Nikki that, being your sister, she's only been exposed to the "nice" writers. There are some meanies out there... and of course, a good t.v. producer would make sure the house was full of them.

    I would enjoy it from my couch at home. :)

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  10. Oh Oh Oh Laughing spitting up tea giggling gotta go to the bathroom now TOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNYYYYY!!! I am so tweeting this now! Reality show for writers. OH MY SWEET! - the Hot Tub image is just killing me.

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  11. This is really funny. I got your blog page from Margo. I would love to see that show on TV! I would surely enjoy that...especially the 'ripping of the MS!' LOL.

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