The Week of Woe Continued: How to Shake That Pesky, Happy Feeling

1.Read the first three quarters of a Charles Dickens' novel, but make sure not to finish it.

2.Make three dozen heart-shaped, Valentine's Day cookies for a fund raiser; frost them all with red and pink and write happy sayings on them; eat one dozen of them alone in your kitchen; go stand on the scale and see how easy it is to gain 2lbs in an afternoon.

3.When there are three consecutive days of sixty-degree weather and beautiful sunshine, stay inside and remind yourself that it's still winter and you still live in South Dakota (I didn't say these would all be universally applicable).

4.  Read Beatnik poetry, or better yet, write it. For example:

Little girl
With your face pressed against the candy-store window
We have no lollipops for you today
Only death
*raise arms overhead, snap, snap, snap, snap*

5. Watch Evil Knievel attempt to jump the fountains at Ceasar's Palace and crush his pelvis,femur, hip, wrist and both ankles. Don't think how lucky you are to have no broken bones.  Just focus on how painful it must have been for him.

6. If all else fails, remind yourself that you will be ALL ALONE over the weekend with only your family, local friends, neighbors and dog to comfort you. (See first "Week of Woe" post for clarification of this item.)

What do you do to when you're feeling just a little too chipper?

15 comments:

  1. I am thoroughly depressed now, thanks! Ok, the beatnik poetry has me laughing very hard, but still, I'm depressed.

    (Is it bad how much this post made me smile, too?)

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  2. :( I'm sorry you are so sad! It makes me sad too! Although the poetry made me laugh. Just a little though. :)

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  3. Michelle,
    You should be depressed!! I won't be there this weekend. :( And I do not permit smiling during the Week of Woe. That's why I'm replacing all my :)s with :( s

    Chantele,
    What's with all this happiness during the Week of Woe? tsk tsk
    It's like no one is taking me seriously here. :) I mean :(

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  4. But Candice, you're so cute! I can't help but smile. Here, will this help...

    :( :( :(

    :*(

    Look! TEARS! I really am sad I won't get to see you. Just hope on a plane and get here already. :(

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  5. Um, that would be HOP on a plane. But hoping on one wouldn't hurt either.

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  6. Are you sure you shouldn't just go? Then this week could be the most awesome week ever.

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  7. I would love to go!! But I thought my husband had a work conference (in Hawaii!! It turns out it's not until next year), but by the time I realized that, the tickets were already astronomically expensive. Now they're over a thousand dollars and I just can't justify spending that kind of money on a fun weekend.

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  8. Oh, we're worth a thousand dollars, come on!

    Just kidding. :)

    Oh, I mean. :(

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  9. Yep! ALL of these would work. Now I'm sad. :-)

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  10. Oh, woe! I rode my scooter to work, happy that the weather is nice enough to ride it, only to find I had a roofing nail in the tire. It certainly feels like a week of woe around these parts. My husband was really sick last night, too.

    Here's the thing: Can we here in New Orleans get an early release from the Week of Woe to go enjoy Krewe du Vieux Saturday night? I'm walking in it this year, and I want to have fun. With the week I've been having, the outlook is pretty grim.

    Nice to see misery loves company!

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  11. You crack me up! Now I want to see a sample of your writing...

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  12. I like to watch Anne of Green Gables but turn it off before Gilbert can profess his love. That is a good way to exacerbate a bad mood.

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  13. You're so funny. I have a good solution. Fly to Texas. Maybe the tickets are less than 1,000 dollars.

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  14. *hangs head and sighs* fabulously depressing list. I was almost too happy with getting to hang with some cool authors and an agent earlier this week.

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  15. Too funny...er...sad. :( I share your week of woe as I sit by myself. And no, cats and family don't count.

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