Sticking it to the Woman (The refusing to shower in the mornings rant)

No, this is not a statement of feminism, more just one of fact since it seems that it's woman's expectation who rules my life (my husband is very accepting of me and all my imperfections).  And when I worked in my career field most of my bosses were women.  Now that I'm a stay-at-home mom I'm surrounded by women.  So I'll say it again, I'm sticking it to the woman, the one that makes me think I need to get up every morning and fix my hair to clean my house. She has many other expectations for me (ones I'm sure we'll get to in future installments of this rant), but the getting-ready-for-the-day-and-the-showering one is what I'm focusing on today.

Why would I shower in the morning so that I could remain clean for all of two minutes before I'm covered in boogers, dishwater, chocolate milk and any number of unnamed and unknown substances?  Listen here, Woman--THAT MAKES NO SENSE!  And I hate things that don't make sense.  Therefor I am henceforth (yes I used two conjunctive adverbs right by each other, get over it WOMAN) reserving my shower until the early to late afternoon and on occasion evenings.  That way I can exercise, clean, cook, garden, and make award winning play doh sculptures without cursing your name every minute of the day.  And since I'm not showering until later in the day, why would I change out of my pajamas?  As I said before, that makes no sense.

My life is about to change. From now on my husband will no longer need to plug his nose to give me a hug after work.  I will enjoy eating my dinner in clean clothes.  My sheets will not be stained with residue of housework.  I will wear new pajamas every night and the same clothes for days in a row.  It's gonna be epic, awesome, life changing.  And to prove I'm serious I ran on the treadmill in my nightgown this morning.

So take THAT, Woman!

In unrelated news, my contest closes tonight at midnight.  Your entries have been awesome! I seriously don't know how I'm going to choose.

8 comments:

  1. I heartily approve of this most sensible plan!

    (And not just because I spend most of the day in my pajamas.)

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  2. Yes...yes!! (written at noon in my pajamas with freaky bedhead still going on)

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  3. I'm so glad I read this post, I was just feeling the pressure to jump in the shower. But now I can wait. :)

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  4. Woohoo! So glad to know who to stick it to:)

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  5. I'm so with you on this. Only problem is I always seem to have surprise visits when I'm looking my worst.

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  6. 河水永遠是相同的,可是每一剎那又都是新的。. . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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  7. Other than a few incidents this summer that required me to make a public appearance, I went bra-less for 2 months. There, how's that for sticking it to the woman?

    Now that school's in session, I must leave the house daily cloaked in a bra. I'll fight this. Maybe I won't shower for a week.

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