Last night I sent Kasie an email in which I said, "chat for a minute." NO, I'm not putting that in quotation marks because it's what I said. I'm putting it in quotes because I put it in quotes in the email. And no, there was absolutely no reason to put it in quotes. None. Somehow they just ended up in there. I didn't even realize that I had done it until after I sent the email. Imagine my confusion when I saw it. (If you need help here's the visual: messy, after-shower, bed head, glasses, pjs, consternated expression, scratching my head.) On second thought, don't imagine it.
So I had to wonder, why did I do it? Was it because I spend so much time typing quotation marks all day that my fingers have a random quotation twitch? Or was it caused by a subconscious, histrionic need to illustrate the habit Nathan Bransford wrote about in his post on improper use of quotation marks? Maybe it was the result of a split personality, one side of me that knows the rules of quotations and the other that clearly doesn't. It's possible. After all, I wouldn't really know if I had a split personality, would I?
As I started thinking about all these serious possibilities, another, more likely explanation came to the forefront of my mind: my fingers are possessed by a poltergeist finger spirit. Everything started making sense once I embraced this realization. And I'm not just talking about the fact that my fingers like to write "candi" instead of "can". I'm talking about everything in my life!
The added weight I can never get off, clearly the result of poltergeist-finger candybar grabbing. My cluttered office, poltergeist-finger aversion to cleaning. You see where I'm going with this. I'll spare you a comprehensive list, but suffice it to say that there is clearly a problem that needs to be dealt with. I'm going to get right on it.
In the meantime, if any of you get comments, emails, or twitter updates from me that say "your" in place of "you're" or just plain don't make sense, you'll know who to blame.