The story of how my life was changed forever.

Also known as the story of how I told many stories in a single post (mostly parenthetically).

Yesterday my life was transformed by a very small thing that will affect me in a very big way.  Let me tell you a story. 

My husband,  the wonderful and amazing Neal (he's a life changing story in and of himself), loves to go to the movies.  We are not one of those couples that gets all creative on our date nights.  We go to dinner and a movie.  It's very predictable, but also quite relaxing and the best place for people of the movie-popcorn-loving persuasion (also another interesting story, consisting of the fact that Neal would pay movie popcorn prices to have movie popcorn to watch a video rental at home.  Okay, that's pretty much the whole story.). 

Anyway, I digress.  Here's the point.  I spend a lot of time at movies.  This means that I spend a lot of time in movie bathrooms.  It's embarassing to admit, but it's true.  The four or five glasses of water I drink at dinner always have an effect on me (sometime more than once, my record is five times in the same movie).  It's bizarre, but I have the world's smallest bladder.  You would think I would learn not to drink so much at dinner, but it's kind of a compulsion, and I don't realize I'm doing it (dang, addictive, restaurant tap water!). 

The result of all this is that I inevitable miss the life-changing, gut-wrenching, tear-jerking, climax of the movie, or worse, I miss the kiss! It's very annoying and it makes me want the $10.50 (well $8.50 now that we're in the military) back that I paid to use the movie theater bathrooms and see all the slow parts of their movies.  It's so not worth the money. 

Well, anyone who has spent any amount of time with me knows how much money I spend for the privilege of using a movie theater bathroom while they actually watch a movie.   This is the case with my dear friend Kasieand her husband Jared.  Neal and I have seen more movies with those two than anyone else on the face of the planet.  They know the routine: sit near the isle on the side with a door, laugh at Candi every time she has to go in and out of the theater, etc, etc.

So the other day Jared, being the thoughtful guy that he is (and never one to miss the opportunity to make himself laugh) gives me the address to this revolutionary internet site he's discovered, www.  

No, I discovered,  this is not a joke.  It is a real site (complete with yellow headings and letters that dance).  But the point is it tells you when to go to the bathroom and what you're going to miss! And it's always a boring part and sometimes it has multiple options and if you have an i-phone you can set a timer and it alerts you with a beep that it's time to go!! LIFE. CHANGING.

So that's the story of how my life was forever changed. I didn't say it would be a good one. Now excuse me please... I need to use the WC.


  1. Yea! I'm the first one to comment on the smallishness of your bladder. Tell me about it, only I hold it (even pregnant) because I don't want to miss anything. This means a very painful ending to Transformers and Harry Potter. This is very good information.

  2. And I was wondering-how in the world did your thoughtful husband chance on this website? Did he google it-my wife's bladder or can't enjoy the movies without a pee?

  3. Jessie,
    You're the only one up as early as me. It's nice to know I'm not completely alone in the writing world this early in the morning. It was actually Kasie's husband who found the site. And I have no idea where he found it, but if you know Jared you know that he is full of random information. *Jared if your reading this, you know it's true, you are.*

  4. Yes, I think I did physical damage once during Air Force One when I had to pee the whole time but I couldn't leave. I just couldn't miss anything!

    What an interesting site. I'm confused as to how it works, so I'll have to go check it out. Darn, I wish you lived closer so we could go to the movies together - especially now that you know when you should leave. ;)

  5. Hilarious! I'm so glad you can be alerted now!

    Now, of course, I'm intrigued with the backstory on that site. It's amazing what you find online, isn't it?

    Four or five glasses of water at dinner???!!! Wow, I barely drink one. You don't eat, though, right?

  6. Michelle,
    I've probably done damage a time or two as well. haha!
    The site tells you how far into the movie (minutes) you can leave, what's going on during that time, and how long you have to get back before something important happens.

    And me too. There are so many movies that I need to go see with a girl friend. Neal doesn't love the chick flicks. Besides I have a feeling that you and I would enjoy the same movies.

    Drinking lots of water does, in general, help one eat less, or so I'm told. Unfortunately, I would have to say that for me the water just washes everything else down. :)

  7. Too bad you've moved because I'd really like to see this 'runpee' in action. I think it's funny that it tells you how long you have before you need to get back. It's like a timed event. Jared was telling me last night that the guys who created this site were asked if they ever encountered a movie where there was absolutely no place to leave during and they said, "My Sister's Keeper" is the only one they've found so far where something important is happening at every moment.

  8. Kasie,
    And that 's a movie I want to see. Too bad I'll miss the part where she--- oh wait, this is a no spoilers site. :) Good thing I read the book. Though I wasn't crazy about it or the ending.

  9. Oh wow. This is too hilarious/awesome for words! Seriously. It's brilliant.

    See a need, fill a need. That's the inventors motto. (Okay, okay I got that from that cheesy, Pixar rip off movie Robots, but it's still a good phrase.)

    If I weren't still reeling at what an ingenious idea it is, I'd be cracking up. :)

  10. Ren,
    I know. It's really one of those so bizarre it just might be brilliant ideas. How many people in the world are now more likely to go to the movies because of these inventors? At first when I was told about it, I didn't believe it. I was like "really, there's really a site, or is this just a cruel joke?" But then I checked it out and I was so happy. Ah, the little things in life...

  11. That. Is. Awesome. It's one of those, "Why didn't I think of that?" things.

  12. Natalie,
    I know. It's like so many other great ideas. They seem so, 'duh' once you hear them.

  13. LOL I need this site! I'm the same. I think it's something in the air that makes you process water faster... it's a conspiracy I tell you!

  14. Jenn,
    I am adopting your explanation. It's so much more... er... dignified.

  15. I just thought of something. If this catches on, at certain times, in certain movies, there will be a rush towards the bathroom.

  16. HaHa:-) I wish I could add a P.S. to that story... The mini story of all the road trips we've been on and how your bladder has always been small... and how if the 3 Broby sisters were to write a book together it would be about the best bathrooms to use along certain routes (esp. AZ to CA and UT). Do you remember the bird refuge experience? As if you didn't hate bird watching enough already!! LOL!!

  17. Nick,
    The horrors!!!!!!!!! I can't type enough exclamation marks. Yes, the bird refuge definitely sealed the deal. I will hate bird watching forever. Though, almost falling down the side of the mountain this summer is a close second.

  18. That's a great website. I'll have to pass it on to my sister who has a small bladder. On the other hand I need to drink more water so that I need this site.

  19. Patti,
    Yes, pass it on to anyone who you think it might benefit. They will be very grateful!

  20. I have a TWB (teeny-weeny-bladder). and drinking restaurant water by the gallon is a downfall of mine as well. I normally go like two or three times before the movie (get to the theater pee, find a seat return to the bathroom. sit through a few previews and run back.) if I'm lucky I can then hold it the rest of the movie. Unless I have my diet coke. Then we are faced with more problems.

  21. Amber,
    We are the same person, a continent away. haha! I've tried to forgo the diet Coke as of late simply because the caffeine is a diuretic.

  22. My OB/GYN found this very amusing. When I was pregnant with one of my kids, I held it all in because I was determined to get enough sleep through the night.
    Too many interruptions, you! ;)