You can buy everything at Costco!



Costco is my favorite store.  It's my husband's favorite store, and it is most definitely my son's favorite store (see my last post for details).  You can buy everything at Costco:  food, jewelry, housewares, gardening supplies, clothes.   Anything you can imagine, you can find it somewhere in that glorious, enormous warehouse.  And not only can you find it there, there is bound to be lots of it.  Nothing comes in singles.  I needed a Sharpy recently, you know that black, extremely permanent marker that never ever comes off of anything and should never be anywhere close to a toddler.   So I thought I'd pick one up at Costco.  I found them in the office supply isle.  The package had like seventeen markers in it, but naturally, I still bought it.  Why settle for a month's worth of something when you can buy a lifetime supply? 

Anyway, I digress (this happens a lot at Costco too).  The point is, I am saddened to say that I finally found something you cannot buy at Costco.  It was brought to my attention recently by my four-year-old (as many things of importance are).  He told me in a very serious voice that  we needed to go to Costco and buy a baby.   Now I've been thinking for quite some time now that we need another baby in our house, and obviously, I'm not the only one.   The only problem is that babies are in short supply around here, and always have been.  So, suddenly, I was fantasizing about going to Costco, walking down to the stork section and picking up my baby--maybe a cute little pink girl with brown hair and brown eyes like my hubby, with features like 'no colic' and 'great sleeper.'    But wait, there wouldn't be just one because you never buy singles at Costco; everything comes in packs.  Now the wheels in my head were really turning, a two pack at least, cute little twins. That's what I wanted--a boy and a girl.  Why couldn't it be that easy? And while I was at it I would pick up a few other elusive items, like an agent  and publisher.  I might throw in a completed manuscript or two as well.   

Alas, I eventually had to come back to reality and face the cold hard truth that they don't carry any of those things at Costco.  I think my paragon of a store has finally let me down.

9 comments:

  1. Dang it, and I really thought Costco had everything. I think we should write a letter and let them know that plenty of people would gladly purchase those items if they decided to stock them.

    I'll take the deluxe three-book-deal package (with a free sample of rave reviews, of course) on isle 10.

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  2. Good idea, Natalie. I'm thinking maybe there should be a movie deal in there somewhere too.

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  3. Oooh! Ooh! Excuse me? Did someone mention a sale going on somewhere? Hello? Where is this Costco you're all talking about and how do I get there? Directions please! I'll take a plane if I have to...! Thanks! Jenni

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  4. I totally had a dream once that I went to the store and bought a baby girl! It was fabulous! No pregnancy!!!! When I woke up, I was so baby hungry. lol . :)

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  5. It's a good thing they don't sell babies at Costco. Because Costco has an excellent return policy. Ha. But seriously, I'm surprised Costco doesn't because I seldom shop there; my family isn't big enough to handle an 18 gallon drum of sour cream and 68 count hot dog buns. So it would make sense that they provide the additional consumers for the smaller families. Supply and demand, baby.

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  6. Jenni, The nice thing about Costco is that you can shop online. LOL!

    Renee, That sounds like a blissful dream. My reality is that I actually do pay for my children (adoption), but it involves a lot of paperwork and background checks and "selling" yourself. That's why I have the Costco dream... of course it would have to include some sort of safeguard for the babies too. Obviously we don't want everyone to be able to buy a baby--just me (and you, of course). :)

    Tricia-- Ha! I want some of those additional consumers!! I already buy the gallons and drums compulsively.

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  7. I'll be in the aisle labeled 'spouses' :) However, I really only want one!

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  8. Nicki~ I'm cracking up right now! You should get the one labeled "One Shake Date."

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  9. Ahhh, babies. Yeah, will you pick on up so that I can cuddle on it and not have to have another one of my own. Costco! (I'm shaking my fist right now because I can never walk out of there without spending 200 dollars).

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